Cat in the Dessert

Sunday, March 4, 2007

You might be Bulgarian if...

1. You had to share a room until you were 21.

2. Everything you eat is savored in garlic and onions.

3. You are standing next to the two largest suitcases at the airport.

4. You arrive one or two hours late to a party - and think its normal.

5. All your children have nick names, which sound nowhere close to their real names.

6. You talk for an hour at the front door when leaving someone's house.

7. Your mom tells you you're too skinny even though you're 30 pounds overweight.

8. Your house is full of medicine from your old country and it's probably all illegal here.

9. You and your friends have ever been kicked out of a restaurant or recreational park for being too loud or rowdy.

10. You don't know how to use a dishwasher b/c you are the dishwasher.

11. You have a vinyl tablecloth on your kitchen table.

12. You use grocery bags to hold garbage.

13. Your dad ever butchered a pig or lamb.

14. You don't use measuring cups when cooking.

15. If you don't live at home, when your parents call, they ask if you've eaten, even if it's midnight.

16. Your parents don't realize phone connections to foreign countries have improved in the last two decades, and still scream at the top of their lungs when making foreign calls.

17. It's "normal" if your wedding has 600 people.

18. Your 15 year old sister can out-drink any American guy.

19. You drive a nicer car than your parents.

20. Your dad carries around enough money to buy a car.

21. You have all brand new appliances in your kitchen but your mom cooks in the basement with the stove from your old house.

22. Your parents have gone on vacation ONCE and it was to your home country.

23. You base your whole life on the fortune in your coffee cup.

24. Your parents still prefer to buy cassettes instead of CDs.

25. You're actually nodding and laughing at most of these things.

26. You're a proud Eastern European and pass this on to your European friends.

27. Your non-English speaking grandmother gives a shocked looked when you say 'pizza'.

28. You wear french connection and other designer clothing when going to work out.

29. You carry liquor back here from your country in plastic sprite bottles under tons of clothing in the suitcase.

30. You have 17 consonants and 2 vowels in your last name.

The list was published ages ago on soc.culture.bulgaria, I copied it from another site recently. Now, it was obviously written with the help of "you might be Ukrainian if...". Can you spot the Ukrainian influences? ;)

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